I have a family, one that isn’t by blood but by interests and hobbies. It’s one from playing the same arcade games in college, it’s one from meeting at a workplace after giving off incredible amounts of geek radiation, it’s one from staying up way too late watching the latest anime on Laserdisc that someone got delivered to them the night before, it’s becoming friends with someone with similar interests and finding out that they are the one; the one you fall in love with, the one you cherish until death do you part.
Time moves by too fast.
Lauren was a sweet, funny, six-foot tall woman who did a lot of cosplay. An outstanding craftswoman; if I was ever going to do cosplay, she was the one I would look to as the pinnacle of the craft, the inspiration. She went as “Ringo” which is the Japanese word for “apple”. The last time I spoke to her was at Nan Desu Kan about five years ago. She briefly greeted me with her warm smile as she was quickly walking to whatever event she needed to get to.
A couple years ago she died.
I don’t completely know how and I didn’t really need to. It didn’t really change the fact she was gone.
I felt a pain in my heart. Sure, we were never super close but what she was, the passion she exuded, was with me – it became part of me. I asked myself “What was Lauren here to teach me and what should I do with it?”
We are all on borrowed time.
I’ve met so many people in fandom and some are my closest friends. Even those people who I’m not terribly close to and only exchange a couple of words a year at a convention are still family to me. There’s a connection there – an unspoken connection. If it wasn’t for fandom, I wouldn’t have these connections, however loose or strong they are – valuable ties to a shared common goal: to celebrate, engage and share the things we love. Those things could be anything, a show you love, anime, comic books, video games or just being with those who are different – just like you, and aren’t judged for it.
The best of fandom is celebration and acceptance and fandom is an unapologetic passion.
I see my fandom family when I can. Sometimes it’s meeting up to play board games at the house or it’s going out for lunch.
It may be celebrating with my fandom family at a wedding. It may be holding each other crying and remembering at a funeral.
As I get older, my family fandom bonds aren’t as strong as they used to be – life gets in the way. However, there’s much left to do. Lauren inspired me – just to be present. To get back to creating, to get back to connecting, to get back to loving. Loving the things and loving the people that love the things.
Fandom is Love.
I miss my family, the one I found through my hobbies and interests. So, I’m going to do what I can to see them, to talk with them and most importantly of all, to tell them that I love them.
Lauren, you taught me to rekindle my passion and to just be there. To be involved, to show and share the love of the things I love. Pass what you love to the next generation of fandom, free from gate-keeping and full of acceptance.
Fandom is family.
Nan Desu Kan’s cosplay Spirit Award was renamed a couple of years ago to the Ringo Award in honor of Lauren and her contributions to cosplay and to the cosplay community.
Written by Chris Murdock