Wow…I can’t believe what I just watched. I LOVED IT! 
“A Christmas Horror Story” scratched absolutely every itch this horror fanatic could have possibly had, regarding a Christmas horror tale. Thus, it is of my wise and pure (and strongly over-bolstered) opinion that you need to enjoy this morsel of horrific Christmas craziness. Because, believe me, it gets crazy! I don’t even think “crazy” is adequately a description. WATCH THIS MOVIE and you’ll know exactly what I mean.
Delightfully wrong in every way, this homage to beloved Christmas flicks is well-acted and wonderfully written. It has plenty of jumps, scares, plot-lines that include puzzling encounters, ones that don’t ever really leave you satisfied once you figure out their significance.
Directed by Steve Hoban, Grant Harvey, and Brett Sullivan, starring an amazing cast led by William Shatner as “DJ Dangerous Dan”, whose narration is of significance throughout the movie as he DJs Christmas music on Christmas eve in Bailey Downs, the town this horror story takes place in. Bailey Downs, a troubled town with a disturbing history.
A familiar face that will delight many Nerd Alert News readers is that of the man who plays Death in the “Supernatural” series, Julian Richings. Alongside Shatner and Richings, the cast of this 2015 movie also includes George Buzza as Santa; Rob Archer as Krampus; Adrian Holmes, Olunike Adeliyi, Amy Forsyth as well as a large ensemble cast that works magnificently together to create this psychological Christmas scare. I was ultimately impressed by the acting of all cast members. I love William Shatner, especially. It was incredible to have him as the narrator. He has a voice like butter; he’s hilarious and can deadpan a line like no other, this movie especially (“Susan, you’re harshing my buzz!”).
“Dangerous Dan” is, as I said previously, quite important to this movie. He helps weave the fabric of this tale together neatly when the time comes.
It’s important to listen to DJ Dan carefully, for if you do, you’ll pick up on some things you may otherwise have missed. Pulling his “annual Christmas double shift” with another character we never see (Susan), he’s enjoying playing his favorite Christmas melodies, pouring plenty of heavy eggnogs and encouraging his listeners to simply “stay put” while he hints that the town is dealing with yet another tragedy. He doesn’t go into much detail. All the while, he’s trying to reach “Stormin’ Norman” who is down at the annual food-drive at the local mall. The emotion he expresses is sometimes intense, sometimes comical. Brilliant performance. He’s a constant throughout the movie. Remember to pay attention to everything he said!
Let’s get to the plot(s). Before meeting DJ Dangerous Dan, the movie begins with a trip to the North Pole, to a jagged and magnificent castle, where Santa is getting his reindeer ready for the night ahead. He isn’t your typical chubby red-cheeked Santa, either; instead, he is seemingly grumpy as he goes about the business of preparation for his annual trip to deliver gifts. We see him in the stable with the animals. Ominously, someone is banging on the door and Santa calls out, “Who’s there?” His face is not very friendly, certainly no department store jolliness, or commercialized version of what we envision as a modern happy Santa Claus. On his face, he’s scarred. He seems afraid. The animals, also, are agitated. Whatever, whomever is at these stable gates isn’t welcome. There is fear in Santa’s voice as he demands to know who is there. This viewer was immediately hooked.
After this scene, we flash to the town of Bailey Downs, 12 hours earlier, when we finally meet DJ Dangerous, Dan. His co-worker Norman, alias “Stormin’ Norman” is heading off to the annual food drive. Not happy about it, Norman slams a note against the glass that separates DJ Dan in the radio booth: “F*@$ Christmas!” it says. Cheerfully, DJ Dan sends his colleague off to the food-drive, pours himself another eggnog, spiked, and guides us throughout the story.
There are many major plots connecting this movie, all leading up to an explosive ending that will leave you reeling. It did for me, for sure!
We meet some teens who are going to the local crime-scene, Saint Joseph’s Academy, from Christmas Eve prior, filming themselves for a media arts project as they walk through the dreary building. Sadly, two students had been murdered there exactly a year earlier, the killer never caught. One of the teens, Molly, has gotten her hands on the police footage of the night the crime took place, because she used to babysit for the officer’s family. The tape shows a walkthrough of the building, bloody corpses, and at one point, one of the officers on the scene seemingly gets possessed for a moment, although he has no recall of the event. The teen who babysits for him explains that he took leave after the event.
The teens have to separate from one friend who is going on a sudden Christmas trip with her family, but not before Caprice gives them the keys to the building they plan to enter *this girl is well-known as a thief). The young videographers then enter the building, to get many a scare. They run around the old building, which used to be an old convent, experiencing strange phenomenal visions, getting lost, all the while enduring the adventure with their cameras rolling. Despite questioning whether or not the actual killer might come back again, they trudge on through the dusty and dank rooms, speculating on their finds and how they feel about the crime that had happened there the year prior.
We then get to meet the officer (who was possessed that night a year ago) and his wife and son, (Scott, Kim and Will Peters) as they go out on land, vast land, gleaming with snow and full of woods, to find a Christmas tree. It isn’t their land, there’s a sign warning them not to trespass, but they chop one down anyway. Kim isn’t pleased with this at all. Meanwhile, the son, Will, gets lost. The father finds him in a huge hole in a very large tree. The family goes home to put up and decorate their fresh tree.
They don’t notice a man watching them from a distance.
At home, Will isn’t acting like himself. He eats his dinner with zealousness, surprising his parents, later simply acting off and not like himself. Later, the man whose tree they took calls, as he watched them and was able to track down their number through their license plate. He ominously tells the mother that the boy is not her son, but instead a changeling, an animal. He begs her to bring the boy back to the forest. Angrily, the mother hangs upon the man. In the window where the boy is reflected laying in his bed, a monster is there in place of the son. The mother does not see this.
Next, we meet a family of four who is traveling to see an aunt for the holidays, who isn’t expecting them (this is the family of Caprice, the teen who stole the keys to Saint Joseph’s Academy). Upon arrival, it is apparent that they aren’t welcome. The great-nephew picks up a figurine of Krampus, and is yelled at; later he is told the story of how Krampus is the anti-Santa Claus. The story of Kramusnacht is explained; a dark tale of how Krampus comes to destroy holiday cheer and those who aren’t pure; who are wicked.
The father and his aunt fight until the tension become too great, so the family of four left. While driving, a strange white creature with massive horns runs in front of their car, causing them to crash. Trekking back thru the woods to Aunt Etta’s place, the father triggers a booby trap and is suddenly bleeding, shot. The family ducks down, not wanting to trigger another booby trap, knowing they are in danger. The son, Duncan, is convinced it’s Krampus, as it is now officially Krampusnact. While the father lay bleeding in the snow, Duncan goes to grab the flare. The other booby trap goes off, and Duncan has pulled away with a frightened scream. Caprice and her parents struggle to find him, but the blizzard is picking up, so they retreat into the shelter of an old church, frantically worried about Duncan’s wellbeing. At this point, the father says that maybe, since they are in a church, they should confess their sins, as Krampus only comes for the wicked. The family agrees and does so. This scene is (spoiler alert) terrifying, with Krampus himself making his first full-figured appearance; as Caprice’s mom sacrifices herself to him so that Caprice can run back to Aunt Etta’s.
Throughout this whole time, Santa, up at the North Pole is having difficulties, as well. Something is infecting his elves. Chaos ensues as Santa endures many horrifying things including zombie elves, making Santa do things not normally included in his to-do list. I don’t want to spoil anything, you have to see this for yourself. It’s safe for me to say that although Santa may be a big guy, it’s possible that he’s not fat at all but instead overly strong. He kills elf after elf…
DJ Dangerous Dan continues to spin his yuletide tunes throughout this entire time. He is informing the town that there’s something happening down at the mall, that police and ambulances are on scene. He says that the station hasn’t been in contact with “Stormin Norman” and that although the crew gives him a hard time, they love him. DJ Dan pleads with Norman over the air to call in soon. He’s now drinking his liquor straight out of the bottle.
Everything comes crashing together when the mother of the “changeling” realizes that indeed, this is not her son, and hustles him back to the forest to meet the owner of the land, to try to get her son back. Once in the woods, she meets the man who called her and he explains that he’s the “herder” of these “trolls”, that have occupied the land for a long time. There are many of them, and Kim demands her son back. Will she get back her Will?
The terrified teens find themselves locked in at the Academy, with no way out, and unimaginably terrifying things are taking place. Molly is acting weird, telling tales of patients long ago, like young unwed mothers who were sent to the convent to keep secret. Molly then pursues the two boys she is with, lustily. After finally doing the deed with one of the boys, she seems to come out of a trance. Confusion ensues. One of the boys is found dead, with the same quote that had been written on the wall last year, was written again. Molly and Ben, the two survivors, hear crying, a baby crying. They huddle in fear until Molly says something crazy. She announces a startling revelation. Ben has no idea what to think or do next. Not that he has long to worry about it…
The family of four, one now gone, two allegedly dead, is now one as only Caprice has survived; she struggles to make it back to Aunt Etta’s. The roar of Krampus surrounds her as she bangs on Etta’s door, begging her to let her in! She runs around the house, slipping in the snow, as the roars and growls surrounding her grow louder still. There! It’s Krampus!! She has to fight him off… and no way is Caprice letting herself die. A fight ensues. After, finally inside the house with Aunt Etta, they drink tea and Etta proclaims them as almost safe as it is almost morning. “Shouldn’t we try to trap him again?” Caprice wonders. Aunt Etta’s almost amused, as she explains that Krampus can’t be trapped for he is a Christmas spirit. She goes on to say, “Even your father said, anyone, can be filled with the Christmas spirit!” Ahe explains that one who is angry and wicked instead inside will let these spirits turn them into vile beasts. Caprice realizes that her own aunt had had answers all along. She also realizes that her own aunt had sent her family away to be bait, passing over her. This is one of the final scenes and I won’t spoil it. It was quite fitting and left me to ponder. I liked how this scene played out, and I am eager for you also to see this thrilling moment. Shivers ran up my spine.
After this we are headed back to Bailey Downs, where DJ Dan grimly tells his audience that the police are asking everyone to just stay home, stay put; he implores them, “For the love of God, just stay put.” He takes a heavy swig from his mug. He eludes to hostages, their exact number not being known. He leans back heavily, chewing on his glasses, obviously dismayed.
It’s back to the North Pole for the one on one against Krampus. Santa stomps through the toy shop; he is bloodied and there are corpses of the elves everywhere. He finds Mrs. Claus, who he is so grateful for finding until she shrieks at him unearthly, the infection inside of her too now, so he snaps her neck. Back in the stables, the doors, held tight by heavy chains, bang away as something tries to get in, and the light surrounding it is blinding. Indeed, Krampus…they must fight, the white, horned, beast (stained red with blood) full-on fighting against our own beloved Santa Claus. Suddenly, however, things take an unexpected turn when the end scene finally falls upon us. We are at the mall. The mall can be seen lit up by the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles on the scene there, and suddenly our stories all tie together and bang, we have a winner. DJ Dan voices over as he ponders about violence, the love of Jesus and the Christmas, and why this town, why Bailey Downs? Is this town just cursed? It’s hard to know. I suppose you’ll need to watch it and I highly recommend you do, nerd to nerd. Altogether, and despite stigmatization as “bad” because it is a jaded Christmas movie, it was so worth watching. If you have a need to feed that little demon on your shoulder and are about ready to barf over all the Christmas decorations and holiday tunes you’ve been listening to since after Halloween, maybe watching this movie will put you right back in the holiday spirit. Or did I mean, the right spirit back in you?
Merry Christmas!
Written by Mandie Stevens
